Truly in the creation
of the heavens and the earth,
and the alternation of the night and day
are signs for those of heart:
Those who remember God
while they are standing, sitting, and in repose,
and meditate on the creation
of the heavens and the earth:
“Our Lord,
You have not created this in vain.
Glory to you!
Keep us safe
from the torment of fire.”
Surah 3:190-191
Do you feel safe?
Do you trust that you will never be abandoned, especially when life is a torment of fire and can bring the possibility of hardship, failures, violence, and even sustain absurdity? Where do you find solace, especially when family and friends can disappoint? Where do you find refuge when you are fed up living within your own skin? What do you do when you find yourself spinning within the limiting power of your words? Is there something more than what you see or believe?
As a priest, I know how tempting it is to answer these profound questions with reassuring responses: God will provide. God will be there for you. Trust in God’s fidelity. All good, all true. You are never alone; you were never alone.
Yet, if the Divine becomes the quick and easy answer to questions of angst, anger, and alienation, then the capacity for further conversations stops dead in its tracks. What if you are wondering how God is working in your life? What if you are afraid that you are damned?
You don’t feel God’s presence; in fact, you feel abandoned. Or you are upset because too many bad things happen to good people. What about the suffering of innocents and cruel acts of injustice? Or you are fearful that the health and survival of the planet is at risk. Should you bring a child into this seemingly unstable, if not apocalyptic world?
A facile answer, “God will fix everything,” encourages a shallow approach to our deepest questions and concerns. The verses of the Qur’an are well aware of the need to ask questions, to confess concerns, to doubt fidelity. An anxious spirit within is natural and should never be suppressed, never judged as ‘wrong’ or ‘bad.’
Rather, as the Qur’an suggests, begin with the empirical evidence of the world that surrounds you: what you can see, feel, touch, smell, and hear. You are in the world, naming it through your perceptions. Glorify in the capacity to name you and what’s in your world. That may take a life-time.
So be it.
Day 4: Reflection
Spend your day honoring your questions. Trust that by considering and thinking, you are deepening your commitment to the one and only life you have. Remember, the opposite of faith is not doubt, but unexamined certainty. Listen to what your heart is asking.
